CLOSED - Now Gates DIY
I have been browsing your latest Barkingside 21 stories - and very good they are, too - and moved over to MY FAVOURITE SHOP, which I found equally amusing and interesting. But then I spotted something - which made me sit up straight in my pyjamas and dressing gown (for it is a very cold and frosty morning, and I am waiting for the house to warm up fully before moving to the bathroom).
There at the very top of MY FAVOURITE SHOP is the date - Wednesday 31 December 2008! Have I missed out on something, I asked myself? Has Christmas come and gone without my noticing? Have I been in a coma over the past 28 days?
Fearing to go downstairs to find my dear wife awash with tears at the fact that I have not spoken to her for 28 days and she had to tackle the turkey without me, I have looked around my desk top. There are the packets of tomato seeds that I ordered on the internet from Nicky's Seeds (who else!) which are due to be planted in seeds trays in the greenhouse immediately following the festivities and before the New Year bursts upon us.
Moving stealthily - well, as stealthily as one can at my Great Age - into the bedroom, I peer through the net curtains (as you do) and note that the three sets of holly red Christmas lights are still draped across the boughs of the Christmas Tree in the front garden and that the winking white ones are on the ground cover bushes (albeit yet to be lit up, for Yvonne believes we should let Advent at least get underway before we turn the lights on).
I peep into the spare bedroom - where Christmas presents (some wrapped, mostly unwrapped) cover the bed. Indeed, I recall that when Marlon (now eight and my grandson) arrived at 7.15am this morning with his mother, he opened a window in his Advent Calendar - and there are plenty more left to be opened so that the chocolate may be devoured (which reminds me that in my youth the only Advent Calendar we had was a slate and a piece of chalk on which we wrote the first 25 days of December and crossed them through as each day was reached. Chocolate? What was that, I hear you cry?
I note that the potted Christmas Tree is aglow with coloured lights outside the lounge window. For some years now we have had a potted tree outside the lounge rather than indoors - largely because we found that kittens enjoyed playing with things on trees and one cat bit through a tree light wire. The latter incident was somewhat alarming, for the first we knew that something was amiss was when the lights fused. It was only when I started to test the bulbs that we found a prostrate pussy beneath the green boughs. He took some reviving and spent Christmas in a bemused daze, uncertain whether or not he had died and Christmas in pussy heaven had turkey giblets every day.
Clearly, Sir, some explanation is needed as to why 31st December appears on your blog thingy.
And if you want to know which is my favourite shop, it is the DIY emporium up on the right hand side of the High Street - above the carpet shop (which is also excellent) and below the post office (where there are always queues at this time of the year). Their dried worms attract all sorts of birds to my front garden. The sparrows find their shelled peanuts the best in town and their fat balls are much sought after by birds of every feather around here. The service is excellent, the shop is spotlessly clean, the staff are politeness itself and whatever my needs are in the DIY and gardening areas, these are met within its walls. Great! Long may they continue.